Is it me?

I'm sitting here, wondering why such things have come to pass.
I wonder how carelessness and lovelessness can manifest themselves without warning--was I warned?! Did I deny it?
Maybe I did.
I guess I just wanted him to love me, as I loved him.
I don't know how to live life, when the one whom I would give anything to have in my arms again, doesn't love me at all.
I'm so confused and sad and lost...
How can this even be real?
I wish I could wake up and find him snoring peacefully next to me; I know that I will never wake up next to him again.
Oh God! how I LOVE him!

The Death of Me.

It's a bit past midnight, my despair is my blanket.
Who gives? At this point, NO ONE.
I had thought I could deal--why am I not what is wanted?!
Oh, how I wish I could overturn the hourglass; alas my strength ran aground.....
I've already sunk--I wish I could get on with the drowning.